JASON TODD ✸ 023-815-5560

... You did what?

And I've got the perfect husband. I don't even know what to tell you right now.

I will. And more. I love you.

This is sweet, creepy and hilarious. All of these at the same time.

Oh so it's a "she"? Did you give her a name as well? Jane the turkey maybe? You know very well "she" won't make it through the night. I'm pregnant and anxious. Come on.

Good gods... How am I supposed to eat Jane now? I'm going to feel guilty eating chocolate. If I cry eating that damn chocolate turkey, I'm blaming you for the rest of forever ()

If you assumed that I would want anything named 'Hera' near my mouth or my person as a whole, you assumed wrong... Jane it is.

We are? There is nothing wrong with us. I like this kind of silly talk. Makes me forget about the rest... Come home soon, please?

Aaand I've spilled my tea all over a thousand-dollar Persian carpet. Thanks. Love you too.

Is this a picture of you from 15 years ago?

You're just mad because you didn't get a fluffy pink costume

Tt-tt. That baby's got blond hair. It's obviously Cassie!

Well... You really were cute. But fear not! Now you are a very handsome, dark and mysterious man... Well, not so mysterious but you know what I mean.

Your beautiful, charming and amazing wife is currently wearing an oversized sweater (yours) and sweatpants and is wrapped in a duvet because she's freezing. Sorry.

Well... You're not here with me, are you? Something has to keep me warm! And I have to keep the baby warm. I'm just fulfilling my duty to her and the duvet is helping me!

Great gods... You just took your jealousy to the next level. I'm hiding that poor duvet.

Just kidding, the traitor stays with me.

Ha! Your loss. The traitor could have kept you warm too! (Also, we know for a fact that you won't spend more than 30 seconds away from me - and the traitor).

Ten seconds? Ten minutes? Ten hours? It's been too long already. I love you too, more than I can ever explain with words. I'll be waiting for you, wrapped in the traitor  

It's been eleven years since I arrived in men's world and I still don't understand Christmas. Why do we need to cut all these poor trees?? Also I find Santa Claus extremely disturbing. I'm just saying.

Oh come on! Where I come from, the thought of an old man coming down a chimney to enter the house while everyone's asleep to leave 'gifts' under a dead tree would be highly suspicious!

ALSO WHEN HAVE I EVER NOT BEEN NICE. I let you have some of my chocolate cake for breakfast. MY CHOCOLATE CAKE, JASON.

... Did you just suggest that I look like an ugly old green furry thing?

Tt-tt. We're getting the biggest Christmas tree ever. That thing is gonna be so big and so full of decorations that you'll regret making me feel guilty when you have to take it all down after. BUT if you dare dressing up like Santa Claus, I'm filing for divorce!

I don't know how we're gonna get that thing in the house, I'll leave that job to you...
I always want you to stay home. But what you do is not up to me, I'll never hold you back. I'm alright, don't worry about me. I'm safe and I have all the ice cream I need to be the happiest pregnant woman on Earth.

Well then, I am more of a Justice League member than a perfect wife, am I not? We do what we have to do to survive these difficult times. We're not exactly... Normal people? But at the end of the day, all that matters is that we are together. Nothing else.

Jason, the only reason why I'm not fighting Ultraman or any of these people right now is because I'm pregnant. I would be the first to put my life at risk if I weren't. Don't blame yourself for doing the right thing, please. But of course I'm always the happiest when you're with me, you know that right?

Forget the vegetarian meal, all I need for tonight is you, that cake and that hot chocolate. Nothing more. No alright maybe I'll need a couple more blankets too. But that's all.

What if I don't want to watch a movie, but just to enjoy the evening with you?
Good gods. What on Earth is that thing? Pajamas? (My belly is getting too big for these - but get one for the baby she'll love it)

Alright, I'll be there. Just make sure you start the fireplace, the house must be freezing!
And of course our daughter will be adorable. How could she not? By the way... How many more books will you buy to try and find the perfect name?

I know you won't, you never do.
And you haven't told me yet??